Quiet, Controlled, Bat-Sh*t Insanity

Ask if you wish.   Submit if you wish   I'm a geek out of Henderson, Nevada. I'm prone to bouts of spastic wisdom or hilarious outbursts.
I'll never ask follow for follow, if you see that, I've been hacked.

twitter.com/HendoMunchkin:

    aliceinpunderland:

dapperhatsandfancypants:

theausterevolunteer:

oscarstardis:

stillmonkeys:

From A Series of Unfortunate Events DVD commentary track.

if you haven’t watched this film with the commentary then you are missing out, it’s hilarious. “Lemony Snicket” was completely unhappy with the film and wanted no real part of it and so in the commentary he just fucks about. Seriously, at one point he gets out an accordion and drowns out the director with his playing

"nearly all of my life"

Lemony Snicket sass is what I aspire to in life.

this man

    aliceinpunderland:

    dapperhatsandfancypants:

    theausterevolunteer:

    oscarstardis:

    stillmonkeys:

    From A Series of Unfortunate Events DVD commentary track.

    if you haven’t watched this film with the commentary then you are missing out, it’s hilarious. “Lemony Snicket” was completely unhappy with the film and wanted no real part of it and so in the commentary he just fucks about. Seriously, at one point he gets out an accordion and drowns out the director with his playing

    "nearly all of my life"

    Lemony Snicket sass is what I aspire to in life.

    this man

    (via nonbinaryanders)

    — 21 hours ago with 53363 notes
    stfuprolifers:

stfuconservatives:

foxes-of-harrow:

theymightbebeatles:

lavender-labia:









I WILL NEVER STOP LOSING IT AT “FUCK YOU LADY.”

Oh my god the “FUCK YOU LADY” is the best

YESSS THIS POST IS BACK

The physics and “FUCK YOU LADY” are definitely my favorite ones.

    stfuprolifers:

    stfuconservatives:

    foxes-of-harrow:

    theymightbebeatles:

    lavender-labia:

    image

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    I WILL NEVER STOP LOSING IT AT “FUCK YOU LADY.”

    Oh my god the “FUCK YOU LADY” is the best

    YESSS THIS POST IS BACK

    The physics and “FUCK YOU LADY” are definitely my favorite ones.

    (via oneofsamsonenightstands)

    — 21 hours ago with 249321 notes
    so I gave my nephew a set of avengers cookie cutters and last night they made some sugar cookies with them

    sicilian-macaroon:

    rangerkimmy:

    most of them came out REALLY GOOD like

    image

    spiderman

    image

    hulk

    image

    and iron man

    but then there’s…

    image

    captain amerihurr

    I can’t BREATHE

    (via oneofsamsonenightstands)

    — 21 hours ago with 246957 notes

    tropicaljustin:

    captainjaymerica:

    ask-america-stuff:

    itsstuckyinmyhead:

    Cats and Tumblr

    I cant stop laughing.

    silverserenades weaponsgradegains

    AHAHAHA the hashtag on the last one fucked me up

    (via poisonnv)

    — 21 hours ago with 246380 notes

    pardonmewhileipanic:

    mordicaifeed:

    concernedresidentofbakerstreet:

    regencyduchess:

    Whilst in Sydney in 1994, a man apparently tries to assassinate Prince Charles. And not a single fuck was given by His Royal Highness.

    THEY’RE ALL JUST STARING AND JUDGING

    "How rude…this bodyguard just shoved me!"

    I want to be this rich and indifferent one day

    (Source: shewolfofengland, via oneofsamsonenightstands)

    — 21 hours ago with 69150 notes
    mr-cappadocia asked: So why does Cracked CONSTANTLY push Feminist propaganda so hard? And let's not bullshit ourselves. You do. Just yesterday you published five articles. Two specifically referenced either Feminism or Feminist backed statistics. Conversely whenever you cover anything related to the opposition you not only mislead about their views... you straight up fucking lie about them and people let you get away with it because you're a "humor magazine". So I'm wondering why you propagandize *so hard*. Why?


    Answer:

    cracked:

    sorenbowie:

    jetpackexhaust:

    codyjohnston:

    thisdanobrien:

    hereinidaho:

    Because we’re true believers! 

    Let me take this moment to say how Cracked could have gone another direction 7 or 8 years ago, a more Maximy, Booby Gallery of the Day direction if not for the steadfast resistance of David Wong and Jack O’Brien. I barely acknowledge the side that opposes feminism, but Wong goes out of his way to understand people who are mad at feminists, and he writes about those views with more sensitivity and understanding that I could ever muster. 

    To sum up: We don’t have an explicit agenda but if one comes across, It’s not one I’m ashamed of. 

    Kristi is a liar. I remember the meeting where the Cracked brain trust sat down and was like “From now on let’s occasionally post articles that either directly or conspiratorially tangentially support equal rights for women so we can accomplish our ultimate end goal: Hack into the penis of every man and make it a smaller penis, or a penis that is otherwise laughable for a different reason upon which we all agree. It almost sounds TOO easy,” Jack said, as he (via the mainframe) hacked a young Robert Brockway’s penis. “I think my wife deserves my respect,” the now-neutered Brockway yelped.

    #LaughablePenisRights

    #NotAllLaughablePenises

    It is weird that we do it so constantly, when everybody knows that people only deserve equal rights and treatment between the hours of4 and 7 pm on alternate February the 29ths. At first we worried that we couldn’t cover it all with our current propaganda budget, but we were able to transfer some funding to supporting feminism from our “Don’t be an asshole” budget because it turns out they overlap completely.

    Look, I get it buddy. You’re pissed off because you’ve tried to be a good person your whole life and still you feel like you’ve been consistently stripped of the things you thought were guaranteed , and now there is a whole organized movement saying you still have too much, that you, just trying to live your life, is an affront to an entire gender. That’s a shitty feeling, but here’s the thing: no one is actually trying to take anything from you. That sickening feeling you have that your being robbed of basic human rights, there are people around you in your life who are feeling a worse version of that everyday. If you don’t believe me, look at any of the secret camera videos women have taken on the street to catch the verbal abuse they suffer, listen to any of the stories of guys who touch women on crowded trains and then smile at them as they leave because they know there’s nothing she can do about it, read any of the millions of accounts from human beings about the exhausting and demoralizing abuse they put up with every day. And you might not be the guy making them feel that way, I hope you’re not, but holy shit, you can actually help. You can help other people instead of standing in their way because it feels like another inconvenience. Finally, even if the absolute worse case scenario is true: this is one big conspiracy, Cracked and feminists and a huge chunk of the Internet are villainizing men unfairly and creating a culture where you’re no longer allowed to even voice your opinions without people getting angry- even if all of that is true- isn’t that worth preventing an inarguably high percentage of sexual abuse and dangerous objectification of your daughter/ your sister/ your wife? 

    Not all the stabs at equality will be smart, or entirely on point or even helpful. This form of feminism is new, chillingly new for how long this shit has been going on, and not everyone is good at it yet, but holy shit, friend, how can you argue against the aim of basic respect for another human being?

    XOXO,

    Soren

    image

    Soren’s “empathy for you” is a false flag assault on your scrote size and don’t let anybody tell you different.

    — 21 hours ago with 6234 notes
    misandry-mermaid:

aka14kgold:

islamic-art-and-quotes:

The FBI caught a terrorist last week, but since he is not Muslim, you probably didn’t hear about it on the news.

Talbot is a white, radical right-wing conservative who was arrested by the FBI on charges of “attempted interference with commerce by robbery, solicitation to commit a crime of violence and possession of an explosive material.”


…
His plan was to rob banks to fund his revolution, and then also blow up mosques.

[Source]

Well, since the ‘blowing up mosques’ part is more or less on the CIA’s agenda, you can see why the FBI wouldn’t want to call him a terrorist…


Fox News on this issue:*cricket orgy noises*

    misandry-mermaid:

    aka14kgold:

    islamic-art-and-quotes:

    The FBI caught a terrorist last week, but since he is not Muslim, you probably didn’t hear about it on the news.

    Talbot is a white, radical right-wing conservative who was arrested by the FBI on charges of “attempted interference with commerce by robbery, solicitation to commit a crime of violence and possession of an explosive material.”

    His plan was to rob banks to fund his revolution, and then also blow up mosques.

    [Source]

    Well, since the ‘blowing up mosques’ part is more or less on the CIA’s agenda, you can see why the FBI wouldn’t want to call him a terrorist…

    Fox News on this issue:


    *cricket orgy noises*

    (via nonbinaryanders)

    — 22 hours ago with 17463 notes
    55595472:

eighttwotwopointthreethree:

the-half-boy:

I LIKE IT

I WOULD BUY LIKE A THOUSAND TICKETS FOR THIS

The funniest thing about this is only one of the actors gets drunk and its a different person each night so it isn’t just everyone struggling its everyone else doing their shit and one person fucking it all up it’s BRILLIANT.

    55595472:

    eighttwotwopointthreethree:

    the-half-boy:

    I LIKE IT

    I WOULD BUY LIKE A THOUSAND TICKETS FOR THIS

    The funniest thing about this is only one of the actors gets drunk and its a different person each night so it isn’t just everyone struggling its everyone else doing their shit and one person fucking it all up it’s BRILLIANT.

    (via antics-of-an-author)

    — 1 day ago with 165988 notes
    tormy-pickeels:

nice how they gave the murderer a chance to clear out his social media history to protect his reputation while the unarmed black teen who got shot had his reputation dragged through the mud

    tormy-pickeels:

    nice how they gave the murderer a chance to clear out his social media history to protect his reputation while the unarmed black teen who got shot had his reputation dragged through the mud

    (Source: justice4mikebrown, via nonbinaryanders)

    — 1 day ago with 9034 notes

    large-carnivore:

    what about using google glasses for this?

    (Source: iraffiruse, via oneofsamsonenightstands)

    — 1 day ago with 42985 notes